Remembering and the power of reflection

I follow a Podcast called 'Squiggly Careers' (which is brilliant) because I have had a very squiggly career... I had tried Finance, HR, PA, PR...the list goes on. As I moved between these jobs I realise now that I was trying to do the things I thought I should be doing. When it didn't work out, I left thinking there was something wrong with me. These jobs worked for others, so why not me?

At 30 I took the plunge and went my own way into the creative media industry. Creative media wasn't well known then, the internet had just started. My decision to go it alone came at a time when I felt my creativity wasn't being acknowledged. I wanted to express myself in a way that I wasn't confined by the 'system' that felt like a box to me. I loved art, I loved being creative and I loved communicating with people. I had studied IT at college and now I could combine those skills with art and communication. 

I can explain this now as thought it was obvious...but it only became obvious to me in hindsight after reflecting on my skills, values and passion and how important it is to bring those things into alignment to achieve happiness and freedom.

The learning here is that if you're not happy, try to find out why by looking at what you liked before all the advice; the expectations; the comparisons. 

Then ask why again, until the penny drops.

I averaged it out and I have changed something about my surroundings around every three years. Countries, houses, furniture, wall colours, room arrangement...etc. Each change brought a fair bit of upheaval and I became 'known' as someone who couldn't really settle and attracted chaos. 

But I didn't feel like that. There was something incongruous about what how I was being perceived and what I felt.

On reflection I realised as a kid I always had a different hair colour, different clothes, shoes, makeup. Back then I was cute, a bit quirky. BUT as an adult this quirkiness was suddenly chaotic. 

I realised the adult version of me was expected to conform to a belief system that I found stifling and rather than spend my life trying to change the belief system. I changed my conversation with myself and gave myself permission to be ok exactly as I am – with love for those who see it differently. 

What I learnt is that people see us through the filter they apply to themselves and when they have made personal compromises to fit in, it can be hard for them to accept that you might not want to. 

My biggest learning is that it's ok for both perspectives to exist at the same time. We can go our own way and model being kind and supportive of others for going theirs. Together and different.

Travel and adventure are part of my DNA. After a period of time I want to spice things up, change things around or see somewhere different. This love of travel has, however, taken me and my family away from loved ones, schools for the kids, homes we loved...and I struggled to understand why change was important to me when it came at such as cost.

As a kid I remembered watching 'Wish you were here" with my mom, I said I wanted to travel because you get to do so much stuff and eat candy floss! She encouraged me with work experience to a friend's company in tourism...but that wasn't for me.

When I got to actually travel, I was hooked. Since getting married we have lived in 7 countries, taken the kids on round the world tickets, experienced so much magic and made so many friends around the world I wouldn't have had it any other way. 

Travel is part of what makes me feel alive. I reflected on the cost of not having that for myself and realised  I just need to work a little harder to keep the things that I love in my life and trust those who love me will do the same.

I believe by staying on our path and still showing up for those we love, who don't want what we want; we can be a kind reminder to them that they are free to lead their path too. 

"Live your life the way you want to tell the story in hindsight. Claim your reality and trust others are claiming theirs." 

@melanieannelayer